I'm a bit of a Fixer Upper

I’ve been struggling to write a blog for a few days.  I love to write what God fills my head with, be it funny, observation or words from Him.  But I’ve been struggling inside my head for a few weeks.  And while I was processing this yet again, the song from Frozen came into my head – He’s a Bit of a Fixer Upper.  Here are a couple of stanzas from the song:

So he's a bit of a fixer-upper,
but this we're certain of
You can fix this fixer-upper
Up with a little bit of love!

He's just a bit of a fixer-upper,
He's got a couple of bugs
His isolation is confirmation
Of his desperation for healing hugs

Yep, again a song spoke to me.  I can’t imagine life without music.  I feel this song can describe all of us.  Some need more fixing up than others, depending on where we are on our journey or what we have or are going through.  I am definitely a fixer upper.  And I have to remind myself of this when I get too down on “me”. Because we are all fixer uppers, not trash to be thrown away.

I love where we are living.  I love the opportunities that are here.  I love our new church.  I love the weather.  I love that Phil is working at a job he loves and they love him.  We would not have made this “jump” if we didn’t have family doing this along side of us.  And yes, it is definitely hard not having our other two children here with us as well as those friends that have known  you forever and love you no matter how you look, what you are feeling, or the mistakes you have made.  The person (s) that you can see them and first response is to give you a hug.  The ones that always have a Kleenex handy

when the tears fall easy.  Friends that know what to say to give you a lift, a laugh, or maybe just to listen.

I’m going to put this out there (I know some of you already know this) – I have an illness called depression.  I purposely stated it that way because it is an illness, not a choice.  There are times that it “rears” its ugly head and makes life a challenge.  A challenge because it is like a battle going on within, tears always at the surface.  Like other illnesses there is medication to help, exercise and sleep that are good, as well as some other things. 

Well, right now – it’s a battle.  If your path were to cross mine I would smile and greet you.  I would probably engage in conversation.  I would most likely try to direct it towards you because it is uncomfortable to think about me. 

Counseling helped me to learn to redirect negative thoughts, to look at things in the right way and to recognize what is going on when the difficult days appear.  It is also a tremendous help to have an amazing husband that loves me unconditionally.  But what I am missing are those close friends with the Kleenex and the hugs.

I didn’t want to write this at first, because I am a Christian and this shouldn’t be happening, right?  WRONG!  We live in an imperfect world, we have struggles and illnesses.  We all are fixer uppers (not trash) and He also reminds me of a children’s song that I have also loved the words to – He’s Still Working on Me

Chorus:
He's still working on me
To make me what I need to be
It took him just a week to make the moon and stars
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
'Cause He's still workin' on me

Repeat Chorus

There really ought to be a sign upon my heart
Don't judge him yet, there's an unfinished part
But I'll be better just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master's loving hands

Repeat Chorus

In the mirror of His word
Reflections that I see
Makes me wonder why He never gave up on me
But He loves me as I am and helps me when I pray
Remember He's the potter; I'm the clay

Repeat Chorus (x2)

How loving and patient He must be!  ‘Cause He’s still working on me, a fixer upper!  Give someone a hug today – it can do more than you would ever imagine.

Happy Lent!

Yep, that's right - I said Happy Lent!  I know that this probably rubbed some of you wrong.  But let me explain.

A week ago was Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent.  All day as I was thinking of this, the thought of being happy with Lent and the joy of it kept coming to mind.  For some, Lent is an unknown to them.  For others, it is a time to sacrifice, to give up, to mourn, to journey in solitude and darkness.  I've always struggled with this idea.

I don't have a problem with people who give up something "for Lent" if they replace it with time spent with God.  That is the purpose of it, not to say, "Look at me.  I'm not going to do _______ during Lent.  That makes me special."  But rather it can be used to give us time to focus on God and to symbolize all that Christ did for us.

During Lent we should repent - or stop screwing up.  But shouldn't we always be looking at this?  It is a time of renewal, of growth, of humbling ourselves.  Not just for the 40 days of Lent - but to refocus and get back on track to continue that journey ongoing.  We should be thankful for all that Christ has done for us and remind ourselves to ground ourselves in God.  Yes we should always be doing this but sometimes we need a reminder that is right in front of us to get us doing it.

I recently saw the garbage bag suggestion.  Take a garbage bag and each day during Lent and take something from your house that you can get rid of.  The idea is to "lighten our load", to get rid of the clutter.  Great idea.  Lent gives us the time to focus on doing these kind of things.  To prune, to trim.  When we do this, the growth is outstanding!  Joyful!

He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.
                                                                                            John 15:2 (NLT)

Another thing that we can do is to fast, not for an attitude of "see what I can do", but for a reminder to focus that we need to depend on God for all our provisions.  Also many receive ashes on their forehead on Ash Wednesday.  It too is not to show that Lent is dirty or dark or grim but that it is our beginning of the journey during Lent, to remind us that we come from the dust and will return to the dust and a reminder of the cost of discipleship.  Now that may seem grim but as Christians we have the hope and knowledge of what awaits us.  The joy that we will experience in Heaven.  We also have God's promise that we will not be left alone to face this imperfect world on our own.  

For God has said,

“I will never fail you.
    I will never abandon you.”   Hebrews 13:5 (NLT)

How can that not be viewed as joy!  God's promises of not abandoning us, His promise of eternal life, His promises of providing all that we need!  That is joy!  We have history to look back on and see all that God has done, again that is joy!

We are joyful that God loves us so much that He sacrificed His only Son so that we may have eternal life.  We are joyful that He loves us so much He cares about our every need.  He knows each one of us by name, we are His!  Lent is an ancient word for springtime.  Spring is all about new growth, renewal, refreshing.  Happy Lent!!!

Honesty Can Be Costly

Ever had this happen to you?  Someone asked you for your honest opinion, the truth, but when you spoke it they gave you a look like - "You've Got to be Kidding!"  You just did what they had asked for and now they seem mad.  That's confusing and costly where your emotions are concerned.

Shortly after moving into our house I was traveling a 4 lane road headed to our daughter Amy's house.  I was buckled in, singing along with radio, everything was good.  And then I glanced in my review mirror and Yup, you guessed it.  There were flashing lights following me.  Now I was not only on a 4 lane road, but suddenly I was at an exit and approaching an underpass.  At first I was not sure if his lights were on for me or not.  I didn't' think I should pull over to the right because that was an on ramp for another road so I began to pull to the left and I see him waving me to the right.  So I obeyed.

He came up to my window and proceeded to tell me that I should always pull over to the right.  I get that but these were not normal circumstances.  He didn't want to hear that.  Then he asked if I knew what the speed limit was or how fast I was going.  I said I honestly did not.  I had recently moved to the area and had no idea.  I was about to tell him that there was no speed limit sign from my corner all the way to where we were, but again, he didn't want to hear that.  I waited for my ticket (more money I really didn't have to spare) and politely thanked him before pulling back into traffic and on my way.  

This was another case where being honest was costly and yet it was the right thing to do.  On a side note I was very proud of myself, I didn't break down and cry, I didn't get nervous and upset and I didn't try to lie my way out of it.  

Warren Buffett said it well.  

This is great food for thought.  I don't believe that when he said "cheap people" he was talking about finances.  ;)  But those that don't use honesty are lacking so much that it makes them poor.

This also is wonderful food for thought.  This is God's plan for us.  

15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.  Eph 4:15 (NLT)

When we speak the truth, and don't forget the love part, we are and will continue to grow to be more Christ like.  Love is so key.  We are to love our neighbors, love the Lord our God, love our families, SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE.  Happy Valentines Day this coming Sunday!  Share the love ;-)

Duck Duck Goose

Duck      Duck       Duck        Duck      Duck     GOOSE!   And the chase would begin.  

Remember the fun times playing this game?  A game that would ensue when adults needed to gather a group of children to prevent them from running off or pass the time.  But as kids - it was a blast.  And then there was the unspoken fact that we didn't really want to catch the person that picked us, it was fun being "it" and having that control walking around the circle with everyone wanting you to select them.  

I know I have shared about all the waterfowl I observe when I am walking along the river.  And when I do, this childhood game keeps popping in my head.  Seems like we want to be the goose.  

In reality, the goose is probably the more sought after figure as well.  The duck is shorter and squattier.  (I think I just made up a word)  The goose is sleeker and longer.  In animation, the duck is usually the comical character and the goose is more mythical and magical.  

But both are in the same family, both migrate in groups, taking turns leading, always helping and watching out for each other.  They are dedicated to each other.  If they drop out and try to fly solo the work is hard, the friction is greater.  So whether you feel like today you are the duck or the goose, remember you are not alone.  You do not have to do all the work.  There are those around you to help, to take turns, to encourage, to care.  

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.   Jeremiah 29:11-13New Living Translation (NLT)

You see God's plan is for us to be together, to share, to help, to care.  And these plans are for our good, not disaster.  Even when it feels hard, even when we drop out of formation, if we pray He will listen, no matter whether we are feeling like a duck or a goose, and lift us back into the formation.