Weddings, marriage and all that jazz!

In Jesus day, weddings lasted usually from 5- 7 days.  Lots of food, music, merriment and ceremony.  This was your time of celebration, honeymoon, gifts, etc. all rolled into one location, one week, one gathering.  When that ended – move on to what would hopefully be a long and blessed marriage.

For Phil and me, we rehearsed on Friday evening, went to a supper with all involved in the wedding, opened gifts from them and enjoyed the following day as our wedding.  Following a reception in the church basement with the traditional ham sandwiches and cake, we then left in my new dress sewn by my mom as my “going away outfit” on a honeymoon which we drove to and returned home after 8 days with less than 50 cents in our pocket.  Then our families gathered once more for the opening of the rest of our gifts.  That was 36 years ago today that we said “I do”.

When our daughters were married.  Each had a rehearsal dinner but in different settings.  One was held in a restaurant and the other in our back yard with a Caribbean/Fiesta theme.  Both were married on a Saturday followed immediately with a reception at the church.   And both returned the following day for a brunch with families and close friends at which time they opened their gifts.  

I had the delight and blessing of 5 showers to help us prepare for our home.  The girls each had one.  Some people have huge engagement parties, theme based showers, which are sometimes a destination, bridal party parties, (did you get that?), groom get away, exotic gifts for the attendees.  Then there is the wedding, followed by a huge meal at a different location and many times a dance.  Some brides are even purchasing two gowns, one to be married in and one for the reception.  

I guess what I am trying to get at here is that it is the marriage that is the important thing.  The wedding is fun, but it’s how you center your marriage, how you focus, how you live each day that really matters.  At first I said often that I wished we would have…, I think we should have…., but now I just remember how I felt when I first saw my soon to be husband in his tux (and yes it was all white – 1980 ;) I remember how I couldn’t wait to start our married life together and to just be us.

 Our son will be getting married later this summer and this past January I was privileged to meet his fiancé.  Unfortunately the rest of our family here in Washington have not been able to do so but we have skyped.  While back in Iowa I felt that God gave me this message.  Now I knew I wasn’t going to be asked to give the message at the ceremony ;) so I thought I would share it with you now, on our anniversary and with our daughters celebrating theirs next month and with our son’s soon to be wedding.  Remember that this is with them in mind and with each of their interests as examples.

In a marriage sharing is the key to longevity and happiness and fulfillment.

Imagine that you are each holding on to one end of a rope.  If you try to play tug of war, there will be a winner and a loser.  And I’m not going to say who I think that might be ;)  But that is not what we want.  Now there will be certain times during your marriage when the center of the rope may be pulled closer to one or the other.  This can happen when one is ill, when one of you is struggling with something or you both are focused on completing a goal one of you have.  What you need to make sure of is you bring it back to the center again.  You do this through communication, through prayer, through listening, through supporting and helping each other.

(This is where you pretend you see this cool image of a rope with a great knot in the center secured around the cross, representing Christ :) )

For instance, in hunting – the rope probably is going to be pulled Amanda’s way.  In soccer, Timothy would probably have the stronger upper hand.  In playing Ticket to Ride, I hear it tends to go Amanda’s direction.  That’s o.k. as long as you are both still hanging on to it and the one on the stronger side gently pushes it back to the center again.

In your marriage you will share decisions, money, chores, laughter, struggles, and hopefully one day children.  You share in cleaning up dog messes and when one is sick.  You also share in promotions and successes.  There will be times when the rope may get tugged more to one side, but remember, bring it back to the  middle and but no matter what is happening, what is going on, how hard it may be - never let go.

Also the rope should never be intended for harm.  Assist each other so neither one gets rope burn.  There will be times when things seem to be rolling along smoothly and the rope may become slack.  If that happens, it can get tangled, caught up on something.  The key is to have the center tied to what needs to be the center of your marriage, and that is God.  When God has a hold of the rope, it won’t drag down, won’t get too far off center and helps you stay focused.

WHO am I, anyway?

Have you ever wondered who you really are?  Wondered what your purpose is, your journey to travel, and so on and so on?

Well all through time people, animals, plants, etc. have turned the wrong way on occasion and it hasn't turned out so well. Since moving into our house, we have a mourning dove that visits us daily.  Somewhere along its life there was a wrong turn.

The above is a picture of it sitting alone on the wire.  I observed it the other day trying to slide over closer to another mourning dove but was soon left alone.  Maybe the one that left has heard this guy try to "talk".  When ever it does it sounds like a cross between a peacock and a crow stuck in a box.  Yep, that's what he sounds like - poor guy.  I think he will be destined to be alone.

And then there is our willow tree that we had to cut a branch out of.  Instead of being parallel to or growing on in its own territory it tried to cross over to where it shouldn't have been.

You can see the damage it was starting to cause in the center of the picture on the branch it was trying to "cross over" on.  Well that surely didn't turn out so well, cause now it has been chopped into little pieces.  ;)

Have you ever been told something but it seemed way to good to be true?  So because we couldn't possible think that was right, we turn to our own thoughts and plans.  How did that turn out for you?

Or maybe you felt like it was so good you believed it couldn't possible be for you.  You don't deserve that, someone like you (someone like me).  We feel inferior, we have self-doubt, we aren't as smart, we aren't as pretty (handsome).  It is much easier at times to believe it must be the plan for someone else.  It is easier (at least it usually is for me) to focus on the blessings for others than for myself.

Look at this quote I found on the internet, oh so true:  

 

God has made each of us unique, special, and perfect for what His plan is, for each of us to do, how to live, our hope and our future.  What blows my mind is when I think of the whole world and the billions of people out there - I can feel like a speck of dust in a wind storm across the dessert.  And yet He knows ME, he knows every part of me, all about me, and what is best for me.  And it is the same for you.  He also knew we would screw up at times.  So He took care of that - His only Son gave up His life in a horrible way in front of many so that our sins, our screw ups, our doubts and wrong decisions could vanish and our future be secure with Him.  

All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all.     Isaiah 53:6  NLT

How cool is that?  Several years ago I turned over my life, my control to God.  I was always somewhat reluctant to give up that control.  But wow, when I did - life became so much better.  I didn't feel like a puppet, but rather my eyes were opened to the many things around me that God wants me to enjoy.  Yes, I still screw up, I still take wrong turns - but usually now I recognize it sooner so I can get back on track. 

Who am I?  I am a child of the King, saved by grace!

Anita Renfroe was right!

Anita Renfroe is an amazing Christian Comedian who I have been a fan of for several years.  If you are not familiar with her, watch this clip.  It will either make you a fan or jog your memory.

The Mom Song -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDMhpapZcoU&index=5&list=RDe3EUttbJpHg

One of her dvd’s is entitled It’s Probably Just My Thyroid.  Love, love, loved it.  Through comedy she traced all her problems back to her thyroid.  (Kind of like the father in My Big Fat Greek  Wedding could trace everything back to Greece.)  

Well, while back at the doctor again yesterday to continue to solve the High Blood Pressure problem, it was noticed, and I fully agreed, that my heart was racing.  Unfortunately I was beginning to think this was the new norm.  After reviewing my records again followed by an EKG to make sure I wasn’t showing signs of a heart attack, it was decided that I was taking too much thyroid medication – causing my  heart to race.  WooHoo – it’s probably just my thyroid!  Anita was right.

Well time will tell how things will progress from here.  I will  keep you updated.  But just to remind you that laughter is one of the greatest gifts God blessed us with, here is another great clip of Anita’s - 

All The WRINKLED Ladies!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=za1ya3oBBMg

Are there tears running down your legs yet?  (Women, you know what I mean)

Moving on.  There are a few more fun things I want to share with you.  Yesterday I gave myself permission to have a little fun and I found the Country Mercantile. 

 

I drove by some great blooming orchards and near several vineyards.  Great views, it is located on the edge of the city.  The easiest way to describe this place is a gourmet food store on steroids.  No kidding.  There are so many jar products of fruits, salsas, vinegars, oils, etc.  and seasonings along with fresh produce locally grown, their own bakery, candy shop, gelato of several flavors, and deli.  I had no problem walking around sampling many items, including green apple gelato.  It was amazing.  I turned down other samples as I wanted to savor the flavor, it was so great.  But then I did break down and decided to have lunch.  I was able to have my very first tamales.  Great experience but 3 were too many and I couldn’t finish my meal.  

One of the great benefits of being home in the afternoons is having the time to cook amazing food to share with my husband.  We have been enjoying many different Mexican dishes, most of these recipes have come from our daughter and her husband who is from Southern Mexico and also things like tilapia and stir fry – dishes introduced to us by our oldest daughter.  And then there are many recipes that I have collected from Pinterest as well.  I’m cooking with many more herbs, fresh garlic, onions, vinegars, etc.  The flavor is amazing and its fun to explore.  Of course the healthy benefit goes without saying.

But one more note about food.  Growing up on a farm, always having a garden and knowing many farmers I thought you would get a kick out of this that we found available at a store here.

 

That’s right – you too can grow your own corn.  They have started it for you and for $3.68 you will get a 3 inch pot with 3 little stalks of corn.  Wow – that just blew our minds.  (And Lee Seaman – here’s a great new way for you to profit ;))

Well, it’s great to stay in touch and of course share laughter – which is what I hope you did this time.  We will continue to Serve Him, no matter the distance between us.