Lately I have been thinking about my mom a lot. She was not always the easiest to get along with as her daughter but I loved her and respected her bunches. I also remember the way my dad respected her and loved her. Neither parent was open with their feelings, emotions, or affirmations but in his actions my dad taught me in the little ways that he loved mom a lot and how to show it.
I remember that every Mother's Day was the one day that Mom was guaranteed not to cook. I believe that all moms want this. We would go to a local smorgasbord restaurant that day with the six of us sitting around a round table and filling our bellies till they were ready to burst. I could load my plate with what I desired and I took advantage of it all. Loved the fresh meat carved right in front of me and gently placed on my plate. Mom usually had an orchid corsage to wear to church and dinner as well.
Another way that Dad taught us was at Christmas time he always purchased 3 gifts for mom. Many times they were store bought dresses which was a treat as mom usually constructed her clothing herself. As my sister and I would get older, we were given the honor of wrapping them and keeping the secret.
They worked side by side on the farm and weathered whatever came their way. I wish I could have seen them before they had children - the days that on weekends they would go dancing with friends. I did however have glimpses of this as people used to have anniversary celebrations that included dances. Dad loved to dance and Mom was his permanent partner.
When they finally retired from the farm and moved to a small town it wasn't long until they knew most people there. They took daily walks together, worked around the house together and traveled together. (And yes, at times maybe too much together if you ask mom ;) )
I'm sure they didn't see the end turning out the way it did with Dad developing Alzheimer's and spending the last 6 years of his life in a care facility. But God really does use all things to glorify Him. They would sit and hold hands and many times Dad would lay his head on mom's shoulder. It was as if a wall had crumbled and he was free to express His feelings.
I'm not glossing over the negative, the frustrations or the times that I wished I would have.....
But with Mom on my mind a lot lately, I do have regrets for the times I got so frustrated with her and avoided her or said some things I am not proud of. I know that the way my mom was raised was not easy and definitely had an affect on how she lived out life. With getting older myself I find that I think about this and realize I don't want my children to feel or act that way towards me. I fear being alone as I get older, I fear that others will see me useless as I age, I fear as I lose the ability to do things as I age.
Yes, I believe in God as my creator, Jesus as my Savior, and through Him all things are possible. I believe He is in control. But yes, I am also human, I have faults even as a Christian and those are my fears. I am asking God to guide me and help me.
Philippians 4:4-7
And now back to Mother's Day. It is an amazing gift to be a Mom. Of this I cannot express how thankful I am. I also have and have had some immeasurably awesome ladies in my life who did not have this gift but they were in many people's lives and used their mom skills daily.
I am overjoyed to see the mom's that my two daughters have become and know they will continue to do an awesome job. I have many nieces that are showing this example as well and celebrate that.
Yes, I am getting older and I ask God to bless each day and lead me each day as a mom and grandmom. Asking Him to help me to see that I am here for a purpose and I am loved. I am who I am through Him.
Now that I am old and gray,
do not abandon me, O God.
Let me proclaim your power to this new generation,
your mighty miracles to all who come after me. Psalm 71:18
Love your mom, create memories and experiences of which these are the best gifts ever.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
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