I'm so excited!

I am so excited!  I imagine there are hundreds of images that come to mind when you hear or say these words.  Of course there is the song that was featured in Flash Dance, recorded by the Pointer Sisters.  This has been used in many shows for various reasons.  Below is one of my favorites.  You can't help but smile at Carlton from The Prince of Bel Air.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ1PYN976Gw

And then there are the numerous videos we see of children getting excited when they get some variation of good news such as the arrival of a new sibling, a trip to Disney World, etc.

Right now for me it is that I am flying to Iowa tomorrow to see our Iowa children and grandchild.  I will get to have fun with Lyla who turns 2 on Sunday, I will challenge Gabriel in a few board games, chat with Emily, hug Timothy who will be his old self and tease his mom, and meet our future daughter-in-law Amanda!This gets me excited.   I feel like dancin', singin', being goofy - but sometimes my excited goes too far.  I get anxious, my stomach gets knots in it, I won't sleep well, I will want to pull away from those around me
and curl up in the fetal position.  Ugh.... If only I had a better grasp on my control dials, those buttons I sometimes wished I had to better control.  

Then I wonder how I will be while I am there.  Will the homesickness set in?  Will it feel strange to be back?  Will it be hard to leave?  That can all turn excitement to anxiety as well.  But what I need to do, what I should do, is look at what I can control and what to let go of.   Look at what is the truth and what doesn't matter.  Look at what is truth and what my mind tries to get me to think.  

You see I have a tendency (traits, habits) to get intimidated, to worry about what others think, to get paranoid, to get down on myself.  SOOOO.......

I was reminded of what I have learnt in counseling when Pastor Bryan spoke this past Sunday of those untrue thoughts that invade our mind.  I was taught when something gets stuck there and is taking over my thoughts, I need to write it down.  Then see what is true and what is not.  Erase what is not true and replace it with the truth.  Now repeat that new phrase so it replaces the bad one, the wrong one.  

This takes practice, takes time and does not mean that you never have to revisit this process again.  I also need to remind myself that God's got this, He created me, He sees value in me.  Another struggle, but that is for another time.

So I am going to get back to dancin' and take it a moment at a time to enjoy it all.  Soak it up, have no expectations (then there are no disappointments) and thank God I have this opportunity.   I know there will be tears.  I cry easy (I know many of you are nodding your head right now) - but that's o.k.  Tears of joy and tears of cleansing.  :)  I don't have Carlton's moves, but I have the passion.