- I began a new job.
- We moved in to our new home.
- I resigned from my new job.
Yup, that's the short of it. Through all of that going on my anxiety level when to new heights and it was affecting me emotionally and physically. Life is too short. The job was causing a lot of it and was blanketed with peace when the decision was made.
I was traveling 15 miles to a client when contemplating all of this, came around a curve and there was a beautiful rainbow. There wasn't rain, but a beautiful rainbow. Instantly I was reminded of God's promises. I could not put my finger on exactly what it was I was to be reminded of, but I knew that God was in control. I was reminded that "He's got this."
Soooo.......
I reflected on different times in my life when I felt like Jonah or Moses, times when I tried to tell God He couldn't possibly mean me. Times when I thought I must be hearing wrong, because this couldn't possibly work out.
There was the time that I was in the grocery store when someone came up to me to ask if I would be interested in a job at a Christian Preschool. I loved that place, our children when there. But inside I was saying, Who me? Yes you! I applied and was employed there for 8 wonderful years.
Or like when I was asked to present at the Clay County Fair about all the dolls I had been creating. Who me? Yes, you! After the presentation, I was asked to do it again, but as a ministry at her church. I thought, who me? Yes, you God said. That night I couldn't sleep but was filled with ideas how I could do this. I was blessed with presenting for several years to hundreds of women at many locations. I shared, I was open and honest, and through me I was able to encourage many ladies in a variety of ways.
Then there was the time that I was asked if I was going to apply for the job on the ministry staff at Hope Church. Again, Who me? Yes, you! Well, this time I denied 3 times, was approached by 3 people and finally I said, "Okay God. I'm going to trust you." It resulted in 14 wonderful years of growth and serving Him on the Ministry Staff.
And then of course earlier this year God spoke to us of changing much in our lives to make this relocation. Who me? Yes, you!
The ups and downs of the new job, house, finding a car, etc. - many times I have doubted, took my focus off of where it needed to be and still God tells me He loves me, He's got this and He promises. When we give ourselves over to God, when we confess of our love for Him, belief in His son and resurrection, when we promise to obey - problems don't melt away. The road is not smooth and His promises are not that it will be easy. But we are never alone. We do have His promise of love, eternal life, and He is in control. Most of the time we can't explain how it is going to work out, but that's when we grasp His hand even tighter.
But I should share another time when I said, Who me? Yes, you! I attended church all my life, I read scripture, listened to the messages and believed all of it - except where it was to apply to me. I believed all of what was said for everyone else, but it couldn't possibly be for me. Because of this I believed I need to earn His love and the love of everyone else. Even with my husband. Then one Sunday we were coming home from church and when we got home, I stood in the kitchen, looked at Phil and said - "you really love me. Just the way I am." He smiled with those awesome dimples, sparkling eyes and said, "That's what I've been trying to tell you all along." Who me? Yes, you!
Not long after this, I was sitting alone in our living room, and felt God's presence like never before. My eyes were opened along with my heart and I finally got it. God loved me right where I was, just as I was. Who me? Yes, you! That was an amazing eye opener. I went singing while driving the car to pick up the kids.
More to come in the days ahead of where God takes us, how He uses us and of course the laughter He blesses us with.
Continue to serve Him.